Thesis: In The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole, the audience might notice that the covers can reveal the time period of the books, the age range of the readers, social class and the engagement between the readers and their books. The first copy that was published by “Charles Scribner’s Sons” in 1931 revealed that its’ readers were from a higher social class while the second book published by “Penguin Classics” in 2001, was more about convincing the audience to purchase the book since they were from a contemporary point in time.
Topic sentence 1: The first copy was published in 1931 and it was a hardback. Since this was the type of material used for the production of the book, it meant that the people who could afford it were from a higher social class. Hardback books are usually more expensive for companies to produce and of course, more expensive for the buyers.
Topic sentence 2: In terms of appearance, this 1931 cover is rather bland. It is red and only has a small circular image of an oil lamp surrounded by vines. The color of the image and letters are golden. Once again, this meant that only people from a higher social class could afford it. This is so because the image of a golden lamp highlighted the idea of wealth and power since the design was very detailed and elegant.
Topic sentence 3: The reading materials from the past generations were generally liked even if the ones such as the 1931 cover were bland. This meant that in the past, even if the book covers weren’t that appealing, there would always be someone to read it. Back then, the cover of the book was not as essential as the contents of the book because people were more interested in finding out about what was happening in the plot.
Topic sentence 4: In addition to this 1931 cover, the condition and location of the book also revealed important information about its readers. The books from this publishing company “had higher quality binding and paper” (Modern Student’s Library 2016). In the end, it goes back to the concept of class. Higher quality of paper also meant higher cost of the book. So the people who were able to buy this version instead of borrowing it were indeed from a wealthier household.
Source: Unlike the 1931 cover which leaned more to the social class side, the second book published by “Penguin Classics” in 2001 was more on the marketing side. Since, “The Penguin imprint denoted quality literature at affordable prices (Yampbell 2005), this meant that “these paperbacks” (Yampbell 2005) were intended for everyone in society. Paperbacks are way more inexpensive than hardbacks, so people didn’t need to be from a higher class in order to buy this version.


In each topic sentence, what are you really arguing for? How do you plan on supporting these arguments? Things like that are crucial to your paper. It seems like you have all the information to connect but the lack of arguments to really make an statement.
I agree with the peer reviewers–some of this can be addressed by reorganizing your claims, but you can still push further on the so-what factor. Some suggestions:
Thesis: You don’t need “the audience might notice that”–just give us your argument.
ts 1 and 2: last sentence is the start of your claim–reorganize sentences to reflect this.
ts 3: is this a historical paragraph? What do you mean when you say “The reading materials from the past generations were generally liked even if the ones such as the 1931 cover were bland”?
Citation: cite page numbers. The year reference is used only when citing titles– e.g. In [title of the book] (2005) [author] claims that…